had to take a break 6

So this week I read and finished this book called 'A Cold Heart' by Jonathon Kellerman because A Gravedigger's Daughter was just getting a little too depressing. 

'A Cold Heart' is actually a murder mystery, quick and easy read, that's about a series of serial murders in LA. That isn't what actually got me interested in these books though. They are a series of books centering around the main character Dr. Alex Delaware. I'll admit, I make fun of all those girls who go goopy over Edward from Twilight. I read some of the first book, and I thought it was awful, and his only appeal appeared to be his eyes or something. But Delaware is my own private Edward, but much more interesting than a goofy fictional vampire! Instead he's a doofy fictional psychologist. However, here are the reasons that he is better than Edward: 1. He's single, and if a fictional character is involved in some great love story, its just depressing because then it really never is going to happen and your memory will constantly be tainted by this other woman who's probably going to end up breaking his heart anyway. 2. He's a psychologist, which automatically means he leads a more exciting life. What does Edward do, chew on cow bones all day? 3. He's an older man. Edward might be 300 or whatever but that's just ridiculous. Okay I'm done comparing fictional characters, but I would just like to say I'm ashamed at the way our generation is so willing to fall into traps set by independent corporations that are merely attempting to feed our brains with mindless trash that is gobbled up by the masses everywhere. 2 snaps for communism. 

good girls grow up so fast 5

In this section of 'Gravedigger's Daughter', Rebecca meets her eventual husband, Tignor. We already know my feelings on their relationship, but I still believe that the way they met is worth a mention. Rebecca is working at a hotel in town, and she's a very handsome woman so she's always being hit on by these creeps but she ignores them. One day she goes to clean a room and the man on the bed looks like he's dead so she steps closer to get a look. He jumps up grabs her and it appears as though he's about to rape her when Tignor, even though she doesn't know him yet, here's her cries from the hall and saves her. Saves her by promptly beating the man almost to death. Does this not seem like the slightest bit of foreshadowing? Why would you even marry a man who had a temper like that, despite the fact that the beating was for a good cause, wouldn't you be a little nervous? Well apparently she wasn't. In fact she promptly falls head over heals in love with him, the way she never has before, and doesn't stop thinking about him until she finally sees him again a couple of months later. Pardon me for thinking that a relationship where he stops you from being raped by another man, is at least a little bit under a dark cloud from the beginning. But many relationships are doomed from the beginning, and we enter them anyway, thinking that it will all be worth it. Like Romeo and Juliet, their parents completely hated each other, which means it will never end well, but they just went ahead with their cow eyes. Or Blair and Chuck from Gossip Girl, who are possibly the most self-destructive, I-am-an-island type people you've ever heart of, but you know they're meant to be together even though they can never be together.... Although Rebecca and Tignor might not quite be to that level, I still don't see the point. 

death 4

Some days you just want to cry, and you're not even sure why that is. This book so far, is like one of those days. Rebecca's life is so sad and depressing and it's not even one reason, it's a bunch of reasons that add up to such a general feeling of doubt and sorrow and all these emotions that make you want to curl up in bed and hide from the world. But this section was the worst. 

Rebecca is now living with only her parents, as both her brothers have run off. One because he attacked a few men around town who had vandalized the family farm with swastikas, and one because he was sick of the abuse that Jacob seems to enjoy raining down on everyone in the family. Her mother has become even more desolate than before, spending almost the whole day in the hose and only showing sparks of emotion whenever Jacob attacks Rebecca. Jacob is a suspicious old man who believes that even his family is possessed by evil spirits, and the rest of the world is conspiring against them. Trust no one appears to be his motto. Are you getting the feeling yet? The setting of their life is a ghost town in upstate New York where all the men are brutish and drunk, and all the women are vulgar and gossipy. Rebecca is outcasted as the 'gravedigger' daughter' and alternatively labeled a Nazi or a Jew. Both intended as insults, but both are incorrect. She has no friends, except for a girl who she then shunned because she found the girl to be almost too kindly. As it appears that Rebecca's life can get no worse, she sees her father buying a shotgun and she has no idea what he intends to do with it because the man is not a hunter. That's where I left off. I look forward to finding out just how much more depressing her life can get. 

It's a very good book. 

turkey 3

So I just read the next 60 pages of the Gravedigger's Daughter, and I think I might have underestimated Rebecca at first. This section is a flashback to the beginning of her life and with the way her family was, it's no surprise she grew up with some issues. 

"Calmly Pa said, You despise me, don't you. 

Calmly Pa said, Tell you what, Ma. I'll buy a gun. Shotgun. You can blow Jacob Schwart's head off, Ma. Spray his brains all over your precious wall. 

But Rebecca's mother had drifted away, indiffererent."

First, to clarify, Pa and Jacob Schwart's are the same person, and Ma is Rebecca's mother and Pa is her father. There are a couple of things that are interesting about this quote. Obviously, it's odd that a husband would give his wife permission to blow his head off with a gun. Previous to this Ma had made a joke about who would want even Pa's bones, but she isn't right in her head and this comment was clearly a very absent-minded one. Pa is a gravedigger and I think thats why he feels so free to say this because he has seen death so up close, some might even say he works for death. It also seems as though he feels he has nothing to live for. His two sons are failures, he didn't want his daughter, and his wife is non-existent to him except for her apparent use in blowing his head off. So far this book has been somewhat confusing, as there are a lot of those hints that author's give but then they won't follow directly up on the subject, they make you wait until the end of the book to tell the whole story straight. One thing that's clear though, is that these relationships are not based off of love. Not the one between Rebecca and her husband, and definately not the one between her father and her mother. How can two people stay together for so long and have no real affection, or even passion for eachother? That's my question for all of you. 

Sorry about this. 2

I've actually decided to switch my book report book because doing a non-fiction book was just not working. And Jesus really wasn't as interesting as I thought he would be. I switched to The Gravedigger's Daughter by Joyce Carol Oates and I don't really know what it's about, I just picked it off of my sister's bookshelf. So here are my thoughts after reading the first 61 pages. 

"Why could she not accuse Tignor of neglecting her. Wh could she not tell Tignor she loved him even so, she forgave him. He wasn't required to ask her forgiveness. She knew he never would. Only, if he would accept her forgiveness!" The majority of this section was about Rebecca, our heroine, being followed home from the factory by 'a man in a panama hat' who has mistaken her for another woman by the name of Hazel Jones. But in between this present scene, there are flashes of her life. About her son, and her husband, the factory where she works, the canal she is walking along, the town she lives in. But amid the rush of all these facts, this is the quote that stuck out at me most. I've taken the required health class, and I've read enough books to know the facts of an abusive relationship. In this case, Rebecca and her husband have more of a mentally abusive relationship than physically abusive, although she does mention his 'terrible rages' more than once. He leaves town for weeks at a time, hardly contacts her or sends her any money, and she stays there caring for their son and working at a factory. Yet when he comes back, she is still as in love with him as ever. She can't even 'accuse Tignor of neglecting her' which he is clearly doing! I know that many say that women in an abusive relationship cannot break the cycle and often need an outside intervention. But one of the things I despise more than anything is weak women. Women who feel the need to stay with a man who is clearly abusing them! Whether they have daddy issues or are just plain needy, they're one of the reasons the female sex is considered 'lesser' than men. I don't think humans need anyone. Screw Maslow's Hierarchy, I would like to see an independent society filled with individual hermits! So right off the bat I don't like our heroine very much, but we'll see how it goes. 

For Jesus' sake will the Twilight madness after stop!!!!!! and speaking of jesus....

The book I have chosen to read is called Jesus for the Non-Religious by John Shelby Spong. The first thing I would like to make clear is that I am an Atheist. For my definition that is that I don't believe in god quite simply. As far as a higher being, I've not completely made up my mind. And I've never really thought about Jesus before. I guess I always assumed that he was a real person who was simply another prophet that just got more press coverage. This book is about the 'real' Jesus. It's supposed to explore all of the myths in front of and behind the man. I also find it intriguing because it's written by a man who is Christian and believes that Christianity is actually dying and the modern term is being exploited. My dad bought this book for me a couple years ago when I chose to be Atheist, both my parents were raised a strict religion so they decided to let the three of us choose what we wanted, because he wanted me to still think about religion and understand why its important. I put it on my highest bookshelf and didn't think about it until it fell off one day when I ran in to my bookshelf. I'm now old enough to appreciate what my father was trying to do for me, and I've decided to give this book a go. Who knows, maybe I'll be saved in the process. 

sieben: all done.

I would briefly like to say that it seems insane to me that it is already the end of the quarter. thank jc the school year is 1/4 of the way done! I don't know what other people's movie going habits are, but given my time limit and an extreme limitation on cash flow to do this big economy thing, I haven't seen very many movies in the theater lately. I'm more of a Netflix fan. But last weekend I went saw Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist with my parents. On the awkward scale, between Troy with my dad and Gossip Girl with my mom. Extremely good though! Amazingly musical soundtrack, obviously. Good acting, Michael Cera can get me pregnant anytime and Kat Dennings is no slump herself. That plus some surprisingly disgusting moments made it joyful fun for the whole family. Unfortunately, like most of this particular genre, the movie cannot measure up to the book. Their are certain aspects of literature that generally cannot be captured in cinema. The characters thoughts, which are especially important in this book. The wit of Norah and Nick's constant word battles, though they are obviously heard in the movie, it seems more easier to understand when actually written on a page. True it is nice to hear the actual playlist for a story called 'Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist', but in the book the authors actually gives a nice list of songs which could accompany their book. I'll admit, I haven't gotten all the way through the book but I can already tell it's a winner. No obnoxious preppy heroines who complain about their tragic lives even though their rich and meet societies ideals and undoubtedly get the boy of their dreams in the end. Not even the cool kind that have drug problems and become homeless children, because that does get old in the end. No faux-horror element that makes 'average teens' feel like they're going all emo cool because they read a book about say, i don't know, a girl who falls in love with a vampire and a werewolf and the whole premise is her choosing one or the other. So all in all, a very good start. One of the other things I love is the stlye and literary technique in which it is written (ha)! It's done from the switching off point of view of heroine and hero, in this case Nick and Norah. Nick's writing is always more poetic and makes good use of alliteration and rhyming. 'I am puncctuating and I am puncturing and I am punching the air with my body as my fingers press hard into the chords. Sweat, malice, and hunger pour from me. This is release, or maybe it's just a plea for cease.' A little melodramatic, but overall just beautiful. Then Norah takes on a whole different style. ' I'm not that girl who randomly meets a guy one night and has her life change. i wear cords and flannel shirts. I don't have the killer body like Tris or Caroline. Sometimes I don't wash my hair for three days and sometimes I don't floss. What's this Nick guy doing here with me?' I love that she's so insecure, but she wouldn't whine to her friends because she's too busy taking care of their self-centered problems and she wouldn't tell Nick because she's too busy pretending she doesn't care about him. It's also funny because I get the feeling Nick would die if he didn't wash his hair and comb it every day, just the way he likes it. I think opposites only attract in science. But I guess we'll both have to read the rest and find out! wooh. 

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist-Rachel Cohn & David Levithan

Six. I'm tired of french.

I'm very disappointed that whenever we come back from our break our teachers don't do that thing where we go around and say what we did, like we used to do back in middle school. Oh 

those were the days....but enough reminiscing. On my MEA break I went to New York City. I absolutely love the city, I'm not really a suburb/small town person. We've done all the touristy stuff but I want to get right down in the grit of it! Okay probably not, because I like the life I lead, but it certainly would be an interesting cocktail story. So part of my break was supposed to be about colleges. Which in my family means walking by the building and going 'oh that's pretty! where's the food?' But I insisted on stopping and Julliard, and they agreed. A little background: I've played classical piano for ten years so I should be pretty good. I also take voice lessons, which is my favorite. I'm in a half a band that I absolutely adore. And I love doing theater, even though this year I'm only working backstage because of a time crunch. Julliard makes sense then, because it's one of the best schools for music in the country. Oh real quick, the literature I read was this love Julliard 'Viewbook' which is almost entirely about how Julliard is the best and the stick up it's ass really doesn't hurt that much if you just stare at the pretty lights. Part of what it talks about is the building though, and it really is as beautiful as it describes. It's under construction right now, but the part you can see is simply spectacular. In the book it says you have the choice between majoring in Dance, Drama or Music. And it's this huge dilemma because I'm good enough to audition in piano but I don't want to be a classical pianist. And I'm not good enough at classical singing to audition as that. I could audition in drama but I'm a terrible actor. I suppose I should just feel lucky that I have this problem. But applying for college is really a huge pain. Does it actually determine the rest of your life? Is what you do in high school/college the path of your entire existence? Will I ever be free from the curse of the emo children!!!! 

Or I could not go to college at all and become a singing waitress instead. At least it'd be different every night. 

Five. Sorry

Generally I hate rap music. Most of it has a derogatory view towards women, and it's riddled with negative terms towards anything else you can think of. But some of it has a message. Some of it is real. One of those bands is 3OH!3. Now they aren't rap per say, more hip-hop/electronica, but it's the idea of stuff that sounds like a dude spitting made-up lyrics to a beat played by a half-drunk stoner. And it does sound like that! I happen to have a lot of time on my hands, and one night I looked up the lyrics just to see if they were as mindless as I thought. Turns out they weren't! Yes the hook is typical of a rap song, "She wants to touch me, whoa oh. She wants to love me, whoa oh. She'll never leave me, whoa oh whoa oh oh oh. Don't trust a ho, never trust a ho, won't trust a ho, cuz a ho won't trust me." I know, I know. Bad grammar, insulting words, and a hook as mindless as the people who listen to this trash. Except not! Looking into the verse, you realize this song has a story! Not just like, I went to the club to pick up some ladies, I was lookin' so fly, then I took 'em back to my place, got it all undone and we shook it up. An honest to goodness tale about a girl who goes to a show just to forget herself, and be someone else for one night. But then you realize it isn't just one girl, doesn't everyone do that? Which is tragic because if being yourself is too stressful to actually be yourself, are you really being yourself? Although I suppose everyone needs a break now and then. 'And the best is, no one knows who you are. Just another girl, alone at the bar.' This girl isn't just a sad, pathetic person who has a terrible life though. She has material possessions! Which we all know is what life is really about. The point is that people can have what they need on the outside, but if you don't have what you need on the inside, it's really hard to live. Or be satisfied living. 'And she's an actress, but she ain't got no need. She's got money from her parents in a trust fund back east.' But again they go back to their cheesy rap lyrics! I feel like the person who wrote this song has split-personality disorder. Some of the lyrics are sensitive to human feeling. Others are sexist and someone's little brother could have written them. 'Shush girl, shush your lips. Do the Helen Keller, and talk with your hips.' I mean really people, why are you making fun of women! So the last reason I like this song is because it has some lyrics that I can relate to, and most people love it when they feel like a song is about their lives! Trust me I know because Katy Perry wrote her entire album based off of my life. 

"X's, on the back of your hands

Wash them in the bathroom to drink like the bands

And the set list

You stole off of the stage

Has red and purple lipstick all over the page."

(not that i've ever done that)

The songs called Don't Trust Me by 3OH!3 but if you want the rest of the lyrics. 

http://www.metrolyrics.com/don't-trust-me-lyrics-3oh3.html

Quatre! Chucks are Not Footwear, They're a Lifestyle

I have this great book, 'Chucks! The Phenomenon of Converse Chuck Taylor All Stars' by Hal Peterson. I spend a lot of my time looking at the pretty pictures in this book, but what is has to say is just as interesting. For instance, I really didn't know that chucks we're originally basketball shoes, not the symbol for awesome people everywhere that they are now. Some shoes are just that, shoes, but some shoes are legends! Even Uggs, as popular and sheep-killing as they are, don't have the gritty and epic past that chucks do. And they were named after a real person! Her'es an example of chucks in history, in 1967, he was one of the first companies to higher African-American sport stars to represent their product. Three cheers for breaking the color barrier. Then in the swingin' 80's chucks kind of got screwed because they sucked at all that high tech running sneaker shenanigans. So instead they stuck with the good old stuff and skateboarders took them over! For great movie examples see, Thrashin' or Dazed and Confused. This is where chucks took the step closer to the culture they most currently represent. They also appeared to a certain 'sub-stream', because they were made in America, not in Chinese or Japanese sweatshops. Of course now they're made in China.... anyway! The main point of this blog was that some people see shoes as just things that cover your feet so you do not step on sharp objects. But I see shoes as a statement about you as a person. That's why I don't date people who wear crocs. 

Trois: Oh, the Bittersweet Truth...and a Reference to Minnesota!

I love music. Almost as much as I love reading. One of my favorite bands, although not top ten, is the Dresden Dolls. It's a boy and a girl, and I'm sure if they're related and incestuous, or a couple, or maybe they just like being dirty with eachother. But the songs they right are simply amazing. Intelligent and funny, but not boring like they think they're all that. Well I'll let you see for yourself. 

http://www.dresdendolls.com/downloads_n_lyrics/lyrics/shoresofcalifornia.htm

The song is called Shores of California, and not all of the lyrics are 'appropriate' so I won't post them all here, but the link is above. Now the gist of the song is that boys are always going after girls, and girls are always leading on boys. Like a twisted love story, except it is THE love story. The one that happens everyday, unlike Romeo and Juliet which is simply unrealistic. One of the reasons I love this song is that they aren't taking a side in the battle of the sexes, they don't think highly of either gender. 'And that is why a girl is called a tease, and that is why a guy is called a sleaze, and that is why god made escort agencies.' As you can read, they're equally rude! Sorry if this offends you because you don't believe in god. But this song is not just about making fun of boys and girls. It also points out a valid reason for these messes we get ourselves in to. 'Why all these conflicting specifications, maybe to prevent overpopulation.' A good point! Love is not simple, so as not to overpopulate the world. Very intriguing. It obviously didn't work, and I think everyone know that making babies is not always about love. Not that I know from firsthand experience. It's just what the cynics say, which isn't me of course! And here's another bonus point for me. 'That's the way Aristophanes and Homer wrote the Iliad and Lysistrata (not in that order).' That's a genuine quote ladies and gentleman, look it up. 

Deux! Alternative Press, Written by My Idols

Whose Future is it Anyway?-The AP Election Special

This election, more than most elections, is generating a lot of publicity and it seems everybody has an opinion. Just as a warning, I will not be stating an opinion in this blog. Because I don't like either candidate. In this article, they are mostly asking musicians and people around our age what there opinions are in the upcoming election. Not about which candidate the would vote for, but what they think is important and what they think their president should do, whoever it may be. The general consensus seemed to be, and here's where I agree, that America needs change. And its not necessarily one party or another that can do that, but the people themselves who need to be involved. Like that purple group at school! Connection skills. Another thing that seems to be different about this election, is that party lines are blurring. People who normally vote one way, are starting to think that maybe the other side is on the right track. Personally, I think this is better, that the party system is stupid. It gets people into labels, thinking 'I can only vote republican.' or whatever it may be. If parties were abolished, than maybe people would starting voting off of which candidate they though would be a better president and which issues they thought were important. Of course for people to grow intelligent enough to do that it would take more than party abolishment. I'm sorry, was that cynicism? 

'We need a president who favors diplomacy over war; who seeks to compromise with opponents instead of bully them; who values science and cares about the environment, who respects the opinions of our allies; who doesn't use fear to whip up support; who isn't beholden to the oil industry or big business; who works for all of us (not just the rich); and who attacks problems with intelligence, not bluster And it wouldn't hurt to have someone who isn't, like, 180 years old.' Most definitely my favorite quote, and really who knew unshaven, dirty rock men were so intelligent!

Un! My plan for the rest of my life and then some...

I love historical fiction, by all types of authors. But Philippa Gregory is one of my favorites. I do have to say I hate that everyone only know her as the woman who wrote The Other Boleyn Girl when really her other books were much better. I also heard the movie sucked. The book I just finished by her is called Wideacre. It's set around 17th century England, and its the tale of this family who owns a private estate deep in the country. Now the mom and the dad have two children. One of them the girl, is crazily power hungry and will do everything she can to ensure that the estate lives on and that her children will be the ones to receive it. The boy on the other hand, happens to be the weakling of the family as well as a masochist. So the girl, Lacey, falls in love with this farm boy, and starts sleeping with him. She tells him how she wants to own Wideacre, and he wacks her pop so she can do that. But it turns out that that's not what she meant, and she gets all pissy and decides to chop the farm boys legs off. But before that her brother catches the two of them going at it, and hes not very happy to say the least. So anyway. The brother gets married, and the sister gets married, and the mom is just a widow. Did I mention that this whole time the brother and sister are sleeping together? Well they are, and one day the mom catches THEM going at it, and again, she;s not very happy and is going to tell the spouses. So of course Lacey has to kill her mom. Now I don't want to give away the ending, but I will tell you that everybody dies and Lacey doesn't end up getting what she wanted. :D Now my thoughts on this whole shenanigans is this: Power hungry women suffer and make sacrafices, occasionally human sacrafices, but rarely get what they want. Elizabeth 1 became one of the most powerful queens in the history of history, but she was also known as the Virgin Queen. Cleopatra was another powerful queen, and she ends up commiting suicide at a ripe young age. What is with all of these successful young women and dying! Hilary Clinton had to be humiliated and go through an extremely public scandal, because of a man's mistake I might add, all so she could not be elected president! I realize she isn't dead yet, but one day.... My point is, when she dies, who are we supposed to look up to? Where are the powerful women role models? Although impressive, I don't think Madonna and Cher really count. Which is why one day I plan to take over the world.